Wooden Lighthouses Sale
wooden Lighthouses Sale
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As they arrived at the dock, Max and his friends wandered away from Byron. After all, he had his own ship to catch. There was a vast amount of boats and canoes, tied next to the wooden bridges that jutted out from the sandy shoreline. The dock was part of a small town, cottage homes surrounded the area, shops and stores lined the walkway where many types of exotic fish were sold. The surroundings were in better shape than previous places they had come across, but it seemed dead. There were a couple people fishing, some traders buying supplies, and a few boats being repaired by mechanics nearby. Next to the lighthouse was a small cottage with a sign hung above that read :
BOATS FOR SALE
AND AVAILABLE FOR
RENT
As Max approached the door, he held his nose from the repulsive smell of dead fish.
The sentences could use some tightening. I'll rearrange some words and sentences and rewrite it in the way I think would be received better.
Max and his friends arrived at the dock and immediately wander away from Bryan.
He had his own ship to catch, after all. (who is he?)
The dock was part of a small town.
A vast amount of boats and canoes were tied to wooden bridges that jutted out from the sandy shoreline. Cottage homes surrounded the area. Shops and stores lined the walkway where many exotic fish were sold.
The surroundings were in better shape than previous places they had come across, but still, it seemed dead. A couple of people fished, some traders bought supplies, and mechanics repaired a few boats nearby. Next to the lighthouse was a small cottage with a sign hung above that read:
BOATS. AVAILABLE FOR RENT.
Max approached the door. As he neared the entrance, he held his nose from the repulsive smell of dead fish.
What I did here is simply switch some words, cut some sentences down, and change the wording of some in a way that instead of the "ing" form of the word, i used the more active version. such as instead of "jimmy is feeding the fish." "Jimmy fed the fish." sounds better.
i hope you like my rearrangements! overall, i find that pretty good. it's interesting. makes you wonder what its about.
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Wallmonkeys Peel and Stick Wall Decals - Nautical Symbols - 48"W x 36"H Removable Graphic Sale Price: $75.99  |
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